Boundaries

Today marks the 10th anniversary of us becoming friends. It's been an interesting day indeed. I started this day out trying to figure out how to get stuff taken care of regarding some bills, then went got mail, then over to the deli for something to snack on and possibly write. I did all those things but before I could write you texted me wondering where I was and saying that you were making breakfast. I said I would be home shortly. Breakfast was good. I didn't know you had made us dinner last night as you just let me know that over breakfast. It was nice to spend time with you this morning until after giving you a massage turned into 5 minutes of you telling me you had to behave. Then you thinking I was mad. I wasn't mad...just disappointed. That's twice you've asked me if I was mad at you within a week. I'm not mad...hurt a little and disappointed some that's all. At first I just held my comments and didn't react when you said or did things I didn't agree with. Today though was different. I actually took the time to cool down and then let you know where my boundary was and why. I'm glad you listened and that I gave you time to think over what I said to have you let me know later your thoughts. Deciding to hug you before you left was a good move because I didn't want you to think we were leaving things on a bad or awkward note. I think that paid off tonight based on how you came home.You were more open with some things than earlier today.
Day 14-Love Takes Delight
"Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life." Ecclesiastes 9:9
Today's dare: "Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together."
What did you decide to give up? What did you do together? How did it go? What new thing did you learn (or relearn) about your spouse?
I gave up my run again this morning in order to go to the bank, the P.O., the deli, and also to have breakfast with you. We had breakfast together, then I waited for you to take a shower before putting vaporub on you because you asked me to. I massaged your back, your chest, and your feet and put vaporub on all those areas as requested. I asked you to massage my back because I hold a lot of tension in my back and it felt good to be massaged too. Everything was going well until afterwards when you made the comment about whether you should get dressed or play and you said you knew what I wanted but that you 'had to behave'. I went to get dressed and you thought I was mad when in fact I wasn't I was just disappointed as mentioned above.The new thing I learned about you is that you keep looking for my approval of your behavior toward me because of your choices with her. It's like you want me to give you permission to be with her...and honestly that will not happen but I can't tell you that, yet you see it in my eyes when I look at you. You already know what I think. I forgive you and understand that she's using you but I am not in control of what you do. I can only pray that God will work in your heart and change you to lead your heart and not have it lead by other things around you. I can only pray for her that God will help her to change her ways and help sort things out for her and not continue to hurt others around her. I pray every day that God will help us work together to build our friendship to be healthy and loving to be able to build the possibility of something better (hopefully as a couple). I love you regardless. I always have and always will.